Mind Games

A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

And a great item to play with.  In fact, playing with anyone’s mind is a great way to build strength.

Kids know this from the start.  The moment they realize they can “learn” things, and that a very powerful learning tool is the question “why,” they begin the WHY game.  That is, they torture adults with an endless series of “WHY” until the adult folds and cries out “BECAUSE.”

The other day I realized that adults can play the same thing with each other.  I call it the “So What?” game.  First you get some adults.  Food, drink, things that relax people are all good.

Next, everyone writes down an item (small cards would be good for this) in the world that bugs them.  Anything goes.

Then one person starts by taking one of the cards and making that statement.  Everyone else asks “so what?” and the person who is “it” has to answer.  The questioners go around in the circle, and when the “it” runs out of reasons, the last questioner gets to go next.

The fun part is seeing where the original so what ends up.  Here’s a for instance.

This bugs me: People who don’t use their turn signal.    So What?

It means they are too stupid or lazy to communicate with others as to what they are going to do.  So what?

It means that I have to work harder.  So what?

It means that there’s a bigger chance that I’ll run into their rear end.  So what?

It means that I’ll have to suffer explaining a rear end to the police and get charged for something stupid that they did.  So what?

It means my insurance goes up and they’ll probably get a new car.  So what?

I don’t want to pay more money for insurance because of the other driver!  So what?

I could use that money for something else, anything else!  So what?

Bleh.  I give up.  And I can’t wait for self-driving cars.  Because, of course, those will solve all our problems.

Of course, there’s always a chance that someone else will complain about … self driving cars.


Uncle Drives Driver Crazy

I love my Uncle, I love him dearly.  Except…

… he drives me bananas.


Our latest adventure began with him wanting to visit my father, who wasn’t doing well.  Let’s go!

First off, he doesn’t want to fasten the seat belt, but oh well, I’ll drive carefully.

Then he announces we must buy bread and cheese because Dad will enjoy them.  He’s right, but his timing stinks.  Besides, Dad is pretty sick.

I tell him that’s fine, I’m at his disposal.  We pull into the parking lot of the new grocery store, and Uncle declares,

“This isn’t it.”

“What do you mean?  This is the only place that sells cheese at this hour.”  I’m a little ticked.  I’ve only lived here like 40 years.

“This isn’t it.  It was a small shop on a side street.”

I’m a little peeved, but alright.  I press for more info.  “What was the name of this shop?  What did it look like?  How long ago did you visit?”  My Uncle can’t remember anything, telling me to drive.  Fine.  I’ll go wherever he wants.

We head to the main drag and do a big circle, and he declares nothing looks right.  He suggests we go to a gas station.  I agree, because my tank is low, and there’s a good station next to the grocery store.  We head up there, Uncle goes in to get directions, and I start pumping before joining him.

Uncle has been asking Mike about a cheese shop.  I say Hi to Mike, ask him about his wife, the baby (she’s three!), and father-in-law (owns the station).  Uncle is amazed I know Mike.  How hard is that in a town of a few thousand people?

Mike suggests going over to the wine store, they sell some cheese.  My Uncle is excited.  Yes, that must be it!  I tell him great, except there’s two problems.  One, they don’t have much in the way of cheese (I know because I was there the day before), and two, they aren’t open this early.

My Uncle refuses to believe me, so I thank Mike, and drive Uncle to the front door of the “cheese” shop.  I suggest he get out and check the door.  He says, “Oh, there’s no need to do that.”  Why, Uncle dearest?  “Because it’s closed.  Won’t be open for another hour.”

I’m shocked.

“So, where do you want to go now, Uncle?” I respond sweetly.

“Let’s go to the grocery store and see what they have.”

“What a great idea.”

PS – He also decided Dad needed donuts.  Except Dad doesn’t eat donuts.  Sigh.


Crazy Driver Tales

Does anyone else out there feel that drivers of today are way worse than of yesteryear?

I can remember when my mother got a ticket for not using her turn signal.  Today it doesn’t surprise me when I see a police car make a turn without using a signal.  Normal civilians only use them about half the time.

So, if you, my Gentle Readers, are interested, I’m going to start compiling a list of crazy driver types that I have cataloged over the years.

Today’s driver is the “Wide Body.”  A wide body driver is someone who drives like their car is verrrrrry wide.

I saw this happen while walking past the library.  There’s an admittedly sharp turn for cars to make there, but this gentleman driving a compact car made the turn as if he were a 48 foot semi.  He took his sweet time, he went very wide of his own lane, and drove in the opposite lane for about 50 feet before finally merging into his own lane.

If I hadn’t seen it I would have thought it was a joke.  If he had been driving a truck it would have been a sweet turn.  Perhaps he is a truck driver.  I’d like to think a professional could maneuver a vehicle in the right way, no matter what.

So keep an eye out.  I’m sure you’ll meet your own wide body soon.