Uncle Drives Driver Crazy

I love my Uncle, I love him dearly.  Except…

… he drives me bananas.


Our latest adventure began with him wanting to visit my father, who wasn’t doing well.  Let’s go!

First off, he doesn’t want to fasten the seat belt, but oh well, I’ll drive carefully.

Then he announces we must buy bread and cheese because Dad will enjoy them.  He’s right, but his timing stinks.  Besides, Dad is pretty sick.

I tell him that’s fine, I’m at his disposal.  We pull into the parking lot of the new grocery store, and Uncle declares,

“This isn’t it.”

“What do you mean?  This is the only place that sells cheese at this hour.”  I’m a little ticked.  I’ve only lived here like 40 years.

“This isn’t it.  It was a small shop on a side street.”

I’m a little peeved, but alright.  I press for more info.  “What was the name of this shop?  What did it look like?  How long ago did you visit?”  My Uncle can’t remember anything, telling me to drive.  Fine.  I’ll go wherever he wants.

We head to the main drag and do a big circle, and he declares nothing looks right.  He suggests we go to a gas station.  I agree, because my tank is low, and there’s a good station next to the grocery store.  We head up there, Uncle goes in to get directions, and I start pumping before joining him.

Uncle has been asking Mike about a cheese shop.  I say Hi to Mike, ask him about his wife, the baby (she’s three!), and father-in-law (owns the station).  Uncle is amazed I know Mike.  How hard is that in a town of a few thousand people?

Mike suggests going over to the wine store, they sell some cheese.  My Uncle is excited.  Yes, that must be it!  I tell him great, except there’s two problems.  One, they don’t have much in the way of cheese (I know because I was there the day before), and two, they aren’t open this early.

My Uncle refuses to believe me, so I thank Mike, and drive Uncle to the front door of the “cheese” shop.  I suggest he get out and check the door.  He says, “Oh, there’s no need to do that.”  Why, Uncle dearest?  “Because it’s closed.  Won’t be open for another hour.”

I’m shocked.

“So, where do you want to go now, Uncle?” I respond sweetly.

“Let’s go to the grocery store and see what they have.”

“What a great idea.”

PS – He also decided Dad needed donuts.  Except Dad doesn’t eat donuts.  Sigh.