WARNING: Behavior means everything we do as people. One of the things we do is go to the bathroom, or as most people put it today: poop.
Public pooping means sitting in stalls. This article deals with sitting in stalls. If you are sensitive to this kind of discussion, chances are you aren’t cut out for the dark underworld of behavior. You’ve been warned.
Spoiler alert: Everything comes out alright, in the end.
I’m not fast, especially with this. Age plays a role. Take my word on this.
I have recently noted three incidents where I’ve entered my stall, seeing that someone else is sitting nearby. Judging by only the feet, thankfully, they’ve been younger. And men. Did I mention that?
Here’s the fun part. I’m all finished and cleaning up (hint hint) and my partner in poop is still at it.
In two cases the cause was evident. One guy was having a conversation. Ugh. It was in Chinese so I couldn’t eavesdrop. Another was playing a game; zoom sounds were his accompaniment. Guy three was deathly quiet.
Now that I’m noticing this sort of thing, I realize it’s been going on all around me, so to speak. There was even a guy at work who was known to spend a half hour at a time on the toilet, twice a day. Did he think no one would notice?
My prediction is we’re going to see more of this, whether we like it or not.
Our mobile, our cell, our handy, or whatever you want to call the computer in your pocket, has become an emotional link. As a society, we used to invest our emotional capital into other humans. Now, the most exciting apps are those that act as emotional surrogates. Google, tell me a joke. Siri, what’s my horrorscope? Alexa, find me a restaurant.
There are other words describing the behavior of giving pleasure to yourself, but I’m not going to go there. Instead, I’m going to take the long view.
Time. Time is the most valuable gift we are given. When young we feel like we’ll live forever. We celebrate 30 like it’s a major milestone.
So we learn to spend hours a day with our personal emotional surrogate. It’s so important to us that we’ll waste that time, literally.
What could those three guys have done with that time if they’d behaved differently? Would our employee still be with us if he wasn’t spending an hour a day, for whatever reason, in the bathroom?
We don’t know. You and I never will. However, there’s a good chance that students of behavior, many many years from now, will be able to look back and determine how good, or bad, “stalling for time” had upon our society.
For now, I can make a guess. And for the moment, I’m keeping my hands off my phone.
Thanks for reading.