Battle of the Sexes

Yesterday I talked about how messy Mother Nature really is.

To sum up Her methods, she throws a lot of things together and sees how they fare in the “real world.”*

It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about species like the platypus, or making natural soap.  The outcome is messy, and as humans we don’t understand everything she does.  After all, we’re only human.

Speaking of humans, we are also a product of Mother Nature.  And therefore, we must also be a mess.

Here’s where the fun starts.  Ask a typical woman what she thinks of men, and she will tell you that, as a class, they are pretty much messed up.

Ask a typical man the same question, and you’ll probably get the same answer.

We think differently, we experience the world differently, and we remember differently.  As a result, we live together yet apart.  If we find a partner, we grow together, and yet also grow apart.

Let’s talk sex, raw unadulterated baby-making orgasm related sex.  Got your attention?

When humans are young adults, the sex drive goes into hyper mode.  Men think about it all the time.**

Young women think about it somewhat less.  But young women do think about babies.  They are genetically programmed to do this.  Young married women who want a family go into their own hyper mode.  As an old man I’ve been able to talk with some women who are unafraid to tell me their habits.  Sex every day.  Maybe twice a day.

This is a husband’s joy.  For a wife, she is working.  And she’s feeling a bit stressed, because it’s her job to collect that baby-making stuff and turn it into a screaming, teething mass of tissue.  And she’ll do whatever it takes.

Including, if month’s of making babies the old way doesn’t work, going to the doc and checking out the latest technology.

Let’s fast forward a few decades.  The baby has grown and left the nest.  The man is still around, and for the most part, his sex drive is a good fraction of what he had as a youth.

But for the wife, she’s done her job.  The sex drive is probably greatly reduced.  Let’s face it, for many women it may be gone.  For many women, it may never have even been there!  Once the hard work is over, why bother doing something a grotesque and messy as making love?

Here’s where our messy Mother and humanity clash.  For we have been made this way.  We are an experiment.  She has turned our women into beings that live longer, are generally smarter, and more attuned to sustainable living than the male half.

What does this mean for the future of our species?  After all, we left our own nest some 100,000 years ago.  As species go, we are still babies.  Does this sexual dichotomy mean that we are stronger than the dinosaurs?  Or does our declining birth rates mean that our species is doomed?

We didn’t get a chance to talk about natural selection, and that’s where things can get truly interesting.  But I don’t want to bore you, either.  I just wanted to point out that there is a battle between our sexes in the bedroom, and on the stage that Mother Nature has provided.

So, think about that the next time you are “getting some.”

 

 

* Lets be clear here.  Mother Nature, or Mom, always lives in the real world.  It’s us humans that prefer to live in a delusion.  Let me know if you want to hear more.

**  If you don’t think this is true, do your own research.  Just be careful.  Take backup!

 

Messy Messy Mother Nature

My friends,

Consider, if you will, the platypus.

An animal concocted of many parts: bird, turtle, otter, kangaroo, and who knows how many others.

Or take the common ant, available in so many varieties and colors.  Or the banana slug, or jellyfish.

Each in their own right is a thing of beauty, a thing wrought of nature.  A thing that should be the very essence of beauty in the eyes of their queen, or mother, or lover.

For us, they can be an abomination.  How can anyone, or thing, love a spider?

To be a true scientist, especially in biology or behavior, one must accept that all things natural are, in fact, beautiful as well.*

Here’s a fun but seemingly unrelated fact: My company manufactures natural soap.

So what! you say.  What? is this some kind of subliminal advert? you protest.  Your eyes are already getting ready to close this window.  But wait!**

What I’ve learned in making our soap is that the chemical reactions are vastly more complex than we understand.  In fact, what passes for soap in today’s society is a chemical detergent.  Highly engineered chemicals that are extremely efficient at removing oils and water from your skin.

Because they are so efficient, people also buy lotion to try and re-oil and re-moisturize that very skin.

In natural soap, anyone’s natural soap, lotion and lots of other re-moisturizers are already there.  It turns out that Mother Nature makes tens, if not hundreds, of different compounds during the soap making process.

Here’s my point.  When you put together a species, or when you combine natural compounds and make soap, the outcome is not clean and neat.  It’s messy.  Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.

Then how does Mother Nature check her own work?  Is there some way that she tests her products for “doneness” in order to make sure her improvements are greater than her mistakes?

Some people don’t think Mother Nature ever tests for improvements, but I think she does.  That’s why life may have started out as one celled plants, but has ultimately peaked with mankind.  If you’re not a fan of man, then maybe you’ll agree the peak was dinosaurs.  No matter. Overall, Mother Nature makes things better.

How she does this, and what it means for you and me, I’ll discuss tomorrow.  For now, I suggest you go and get some natural soap.  It’s good for you.

 

 

 

*We’re going to skip a definition of beauty for now.  If you want an essay on the essence of beauty, and a definition that can cross cultures, clades, and countless centuries, feel free to ask!

**I’m only bringing up the soap bit to make a point.  This is not an advert!  If you want validation of this statement, however, I will provide a hint.  Search for “Uncle Earl’s Soap.”

 

Watching a Lady Closely

I don’t normally like to watch a celebrity very closely, especially not one connected to politics.

But this headline and the attached videos caught my eye.

As part of my “fake news checking checklist” I incorporated the article as a thing to check, but now I’m going to reference it as a way to analyze a celebrity’s behavior in excrutiating detail.

Here’s the article: http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a48289/these-melania-gifs-are-dividing-opinion/

And here’s some of the images:

http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a48289/these-melania-gifs-are-dividing-opinion/?zoomable

http://nymag.com/thecut/2017/01/donald-and-melania-trump-inauguration-smile-video.html

There are certainly now many more images, videos, and links that you can find on this subject.

The important aspect to all of this is that we are seeing multiple moments with the two, in public, that show the first lady recoiling from her husband’s advances.  From simple hand-holding requests, air kissing, responsive facial expressions after engaging him, and even when being held closely during their first dance, each of these in itself may not be enough to draw a conclusion.

But they are not isolated.  Each one builds upon and reinforces the other.  The totality of these images showing her EXPRESSED behavior means that something deep, something permanent, something serious is going on.

Could that something be abuse?  Could that something be deep distrust?  We don’t know.  All we do know is that the first lady is expressing herself, and because she is a strong woman, we must also assume that she is being honest.

As behavioral students and scientists, we should also remember that an expressed behavior “in the wild” is far more revealing than any premeditated response or organized interrogation.  If we were to have a famous ex-playboy model now TV personality interview her, and ask her if she were happy, the answer should be predictable.  Of course she’s happy.  Of course everything is perfect.

But do they live together?  Do they sleep together?  Does every minute apart from each other create anxiety?  My guess is that, no, Don and Mel do NOT miss each other when they are apart.  They do NOT want to be together, and that she, in particular, is trying to be as far away as possible.

Agree?  Disagree?  Check them out.  Let me hear your thoughts.  Try to use real evidence.  For now, we have to assume that video, especially video taken during the inauguration, is going to be “fact.”

For my part, I hope she can escape as quickly as possible.  I hope all of us can.

 

 

 

 

Fake News Process Checklist

Hi there!  Anyone miss me?

Quite a bit has happened in the months since we last met.  I finished my book on Hate, and a great “orange tide” has washed over our nation.  Whether or not you trust in the latest president to head the great US of A, there’s a good chance you have heard about “fake news.”

Our nation continues to polarize, so that members of each side trust news sources identified with the “other side” less and less.  We have taken to calling the news from the other side “fake news.”  It’s time to fight back.

Are you a fighter? Then rather than ranting against the other side, why not PROVE to them that their news is the fake news, and that yours is the real news?

I’m going to link to a few articles here that try to show how to tell the difference, but they really don’t.  Rather than picking them apart (I’ll do that later on if anyone asks) I’m just going to include them so we have something to look upon.

http://www.teenvogue.com/story/the-best-tips-for-spotting-fake-news-in-the-age-of-trump

http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/relationships/a48289/these-melania-gifs-are-dividing-opinion/

and this link to a graphic: https://gdcf-0916001bcltd.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/ultimate-critical-thinking-worksheet.jpg

The first one might be the best, but it is obviously stacked against one side, which will automatically make the other side distrust it.

So, as students of behavior, why not come up with a system that works for any believer, of any idea, in any day and age?  Just follow the steps and let’s see where the chips fall.  If the chips fall in the TRUE category, then we can say we have a fact.  If the chips fall into the FALSE category, we have a lie.

Here, in short order, is a good way to tell the difference in a written article or video broadcast.  For convenience’s sake, I’m going to call all of them an article.

1. Does the headline use emotional triggers to excite attention?
2. Does the article give specific details as to place, time, and anything else that can be cross-checked for accuracy?
3. Does the article or video cite a secondary authority that validates the claims made in the headline, or elsewhere in the article?
4. Does the article make claims that contradict the law as we know them, whether they are natural or not?
5. Is the news authority fully transparent as to its ownership and motives?

That’s it for now.  I’m curious as to whether or not anyone here cares.  Please let me know if you do, and I’ll be happy to elaborate upon these.  For now, no matter who you voted for in the US election, try following these questions for any given story and see where they take you.  If you have any difficulties, feel free to ask me and I’ll take you through it in a fully bipartisan manner.

Good hunting!

Tusok