Gentlemen, let’s talk about ladies.
Who am I kidding? As a guy, this will be guy talk.
Boys, if you’re listening (and I know you’re not), consider this a dope slap. You complain you can’t figure women out? That’s because they’re (generally) smarter than you are. Don’t argue, that’s another column and I’ve got tons of evidence against you.
Here’s another fact. They are great to have around. In fact, if you’re looking for a life partner, there’s none better. If you’re a guy looking for a guy, we’ll talk about that later.
Here’s another tidbit. Keep it in your pants. Talk to it on your own time, but don’t force it on her. Here’s why.
You want to have sex. I know that. You know that. Heck, the whole world knows that. Here’s what you don’t know.
She doesn’t. Not really. Not deep down.
She most likely wants a relationship. Marriage.
She wants to know you’re going to be there for her when times get bad. When she gets old and wrinkled and baggy. When she’s sick, or thick with child, or goes crazy during menopause.
What? You didn’t think about all those things? That’s because you’re a guy and thick between the ears. You probably think you’re beautiful and never going to be ugly, or baggy, or bald. You may even think you’re hot stuff (you’re not). Even if you’re a billionaire, you’re still an idiot compared to the average woman.
Right now our society is messed up. No one has any rules for meeting and staying with “Mrs Right.” In some countries your parents make the arrangements while you’re a teenager. And guess what? Lots of those marriages work out fine.
So here’s the deal, dude. Be a gentleman. Look for someone you can love, long term. It’s your job to make every date, every night of love, and every other life event come naturally.
Unless of course someone else does all your thinking.
Who could that be?
Zip it up.