Dancing the night away

Do you dance?

Sadly, I can’t.  Never could.  Even the most extreme embarrassing moves of the 1960s and 1980 weren’t weird enough to save me.  Most people I know dance wonderfully.  I even took some classes, and found them mentally exhausting!

So, as someone who can’t dance, I’ve applied the sour grapes rationale to my shortcoming.  That means I ask myself this question; what is dancing good for?

For me, nothing!  Therefore I don’t need to dance.

But those grapes are still hanging there, looking mighty delicious.  And I’m willing to bet that you can dance – certainly better than me.  That means YOU can reach those grapes and taste them.  So please, tell me,

Why do YOU dance?

 

Millionaire Magic

Want to make a million?

That question is relatively new, as society goes.  Back when we all scratched each other for ticks, we didn’t worry about accumulating cash.  We wanted babies and power.

Even a few hundred years ago the idea of individual ambition was far-fetched.  Only your lords and royalty were allowed to be ambitious.  The rest of the herd could only rise so far, success was measured by your belly.

Today’s society allows us to be ambitious, to take chances, and accumulate wealth without great fear of it being swept up by his highness.  Maybe our Uncle will sweep some up, but that’s in exchange for intangible goods.  Another story.

So, let’s make a million.  Here’s two recipes, tried and true many times since the invention of the Renaissance.  First, take an ordinary substance, like water.  Second, take a dash of technology, like sugar, food coloring, or a spice or other natural element.  Maybe a combination of all of these.  Then create a story about your new product and weave them together.  PRESTO CHANGO!  You have a product that can make you a million.

We are surrounded by such magical products that have made many millioinaires, and indeed, global mega-corporations whose reach extends deeply into all of our lives.  But what does it say about us, as a society, that we are willing to exchange some of our wealth for a bit of their magical product.  What does it say about comparing societies, perhaps some allow more magic than others?

The moral of today’s story is that we as individuals, and we as a society should question everything.  Value should be of a lasting and improving sort, not something that merely subtracts from our current existence.

And what’s that second recipe?  Let me know if you want to know – and I’ll tell you!  Here’s a hint – Ben Franklin is one of the first to put it to use!

 

Sex and Society: Who are You?

Sex is such a ‘hot’ area within our culture it’s difficult to know when to stop.  There are many other aspects we could touch upon: gender issues, cross-gender issues, our responsibilities to our society, parents, peers, children, mates.  The fundamentals underpinning many of these issues are the same fundamentals that drive many problems today, such as: What defines the successful life?  What does it mean to fulfil our individual roles as a man or woman, both to ourselves, and our society?

There are no easy answers to these questions.  That’s why most people turn to their religion or other mystic source.  Our religious leaders have been addressing these issues for thousands of years, some successfully.

It’s time for science to lend a hand.  That’s why I write, and why you read.  There is a way for us to look at these problems in a systematic fashion that forges understanding and progress.

It has to begin somewhere, and that beginning is yourself.

Who ARE you?

Do you see yourself as a sexual being, a political being, a biological entity, or something lesser, or greater?  Where do you see your lifeline going?  In that great tapestry of ALL LIFE, which thread is yours?

There are two young women out there who started this series, and I hope that they survive the tumult of today’s society to become happy, productive human beings.  I fear that their misunderstandings and our lack of general knowledge of behavior will instead create bitter and under-performing individuals.

These two women represent millions of other young women who have not had the courage or the opportunity to raise their voices.  I also write for them, and hope for them.  I certainly hope that you will find some time to help them, in your own way.

 

Sex and Society: Virgin Whore Dichotomy

Two web articles started this whole Sex and Society ball rolling for me. [1, 2].  Lauren and Liz bemoaned the fact that their behavior resulted in surprising social reactions.

Lauren decided to become a porn actor in order to pay for her schooling.  Liz advertised herself as a sexual object available to the highest bidder.  What could go wrong?

When Lauren’s peers found out what she did for a living, she was attacked in ways that let her know that she was no longer thought of as a “nice” girl.  Liz became the object of too much attention, her pornographic “selfies” became internet sensations, and her body attracted a Japanese millionaire offering 800,000 dollars for one night of sex.

The angst Lauren and Liz felt before was that society has already pigeonholed them into simple categories.  Both, before they were outed, were “virgins.”  An unacceptable category for many men, because they represent something to be attained and conquered.  Virgins are also unacceptable to most women, because peer pressure forces them to want other women to be just like themselves.  Many (not all!) women think “if you aren’t just like me, then you can’t be my friend.”

The whore is another world, at the opposite end of the spectrum.  Men appreciate whores for being available, but at the same time know they will make poor long-term mates.  Women can despise “whores” in the sense that they offer up sexual services competing with their own.  Therefore they not only demean themselves, they also lessen the value of all other women by association.

How does one negotiate being a “nice” girl?  You have to walk the invisible shifting line.  If our culture was well-defined, that line would be visible and solid.  In our nebulous dynamic culture, a young lady finds herself stumbling, running into trouble and obstacles at every turn.

The nice girl must play the game of being both a virgin and a whore.  She must be a whore to the extent that she can compete with the real whores.  She must also be a virgin to the extent that she can prove she is a valuable long-term mate.

In terms of behavior, there is only one way to play this game.

Don’t. [3]

[1] http://www.xojane.com/sex/duke-university-freshman-porn-star

[2] http://sexhealthandalittlepolitics.com/2014/02/

[3] http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086567/quotes

Sex and Society: Pornography 2

The young lady mentioned in the last post wants the right and freedom to create pornographic films.  Speaking personally, individual freedom to choose one’s fate should be considered one of our greatest freedoms.

But any freedom must be combined with the responsibility to understand implications.  Her ‘freedom’ to create pornography ripples throughout our society in ways she may not appreciate, or understand.

First, the impact upon her life.  Today she finds herself ostracized by her peers, even villainized.  Whether or not you approve, what this means is that her circle of friends becomes defined by what she does, and how she appears.  Should she choose to start a family, that family’s chances for long-term success will be influenced by the man she chooses.  If he’s not a porn actor, will he be so forgiving to understand she shared her vagina with many others?

The impact upon society is more nebulous.  It’s likely that she has weakened the links she had with her own parents, her siblings.  It may be that those links were never there.  She has helped further the illusion that women are to be used, dominated, and desire nothing more than the physical act of sex.  No, she is not the first to do so, and will not be the last.  But each woman who elects to send this message is complicit in its continuance.  To try and stand up later and claim that such a message demeans women is the same as declaring alcohol to be satan’s drink, while holding a cocktail.

I do not say that pornography is bad, or good.  It simply is.  This young woman also, simply, is.  That she chooses to make pornography is her choice.  That society chooses to condemn her is its choice.

How do you, choose?