The “Other” Other Woman

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The other day my super politically reactionary cousin was defending Herr Drumpf as being a good example of a leader and gentleman.

You are.

 

I do my best to stay calm and level headed, so I asked what she thought about all the women who have come out and made statements about things that he has done to them?  Most of the things he’s alleged to have done were unwanted harrassment.

But there were also quite a few women who attested that they were quite happy “Doing the Dude” for any number of reasons.

My cousin’s reaction?

“They are all lying.  Women will do or say anything to get attention, especially at the expense of a famous man.”

This caught me by surprise.  There have been, and still are, quite a few famous men that don’t have a dozen women chasing them around with sexual allegations.

There also have been, and still are, quite a few women who generally tell the truth.

There also have been, and still are, quite a few men who are well known to make a habit of preying on women.

Finally, there is absolute evidence that Der Drumpf has cheated on his previous wives, evidence that was presented in divorce court.

So what’s the deal with my cousin?

I figured it out the other day, and here’s an article that helps lead us in the right direction.

It must have happened to her.

The only way my cousin would discount ALL women as liars, is if she has to believe that ONE women in particular, is also a liar.

Who is that woman?

Someone who threatened to come between her and her husband.

In order to save her own peace of mind, my cousin had to consider that “other” woman as a liar.  That means her husband was still faithful to herself, and that means that her marriage is sound.

It also means that my cousin has become the other other woman.  For it is she who is fooling herself about a relationship that no longer exists.

It also means that, of all the other women out there who stand by His Hole-ness for all his alleged sexual exploits, there’s a chance they are reacting like my cousin for similar reasons.

Is it possible that there is such a large population of “other” other women?

What do you think?

 

Pornography on the Brain

Sorry guys, it’s not that kind of post.

A few porn stories caught my eye recently.

There’s a recent-ish movie about how young women are consumed by the porn industry.  The average 18 year old lasts about 3 months and only make a few thousand dollars in profit.  Meanwhile the producers make millions.

There was a story about a young Australian women, very religious, who discovered pornography on her fiance’s phone.  She was so appalled that she called off the wedding a week before the ceremony.  She had many things to say against the pornography.  She didn’t say anything about her lack of respect for his privacy.

Finally, an Australian report on how licensed brothels are being run out of business by illegal massage parlors that have “extra” items on the menu.  It seems that the illegal parlors charge about $160 (Aussie I’m guessing) an hour.  But the illegal parlors don’t have as much overhead.  The women only make a fraction of that anyway.  Most of it goes to the pimps.

As you can imagine, the pimps, the producers, and the vast majority of consumers are all men.  When society tries to contain any of these “evils,” the typical prisoner is going to be the prostitute or the actress.  Yes, sometimes a producer gets arrested, but it’s more likely they are major contributors to the local judges’s campaign coffers.  As for the pimp, they can afford lawyers.

Here’s a thought.

Make it all legal.  Pornography.  Prostitution.  Let men consume it.  Perhaps it will make them a bit less “handy” on real dates.  Of course, that is a another subject.

Here’s the other half of the twist.  Also make it totally illegal for men to have any part of the production or distribution of the material.  Women only, from start to stop, in only public corporations.  Even male actors, if they can’t be replaced by “man”-iquens or robot actors, must work for minimum wage.

Women actors get paid, fairly.  Women directors, stage hands, sound stage, stunt doubles, medical support, producers, marketing, communications, distribution, makeup, wardrobe, and even accounting and janitorial, all possible functions must be women.

Will you know it when you see it?

Now the “policing” function becomes easy.  The customers go free, they are paying.  The women go free, they are working.  Based on what I’ve read, they are mostly performing as psychologists anyway.  As for the pimps and every other male, arrest them.  Even if it’s a guy who owns the cameras that the women are using, it’s illegal.  His wife can own the cameras, so that when she gets paid it’s all her money.  But not him, not one little bit.

So, that’s the idea.  Play with it.  See if it has legs, or sticks to the wall, or whatever you want to do with it.  And the next time you see some porn, consider where that money is going.

If that doesn’t turn you off porn, nothing will.

Invisible Tools: Society

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This series has been all about invisible tools that our species uses to make life better for itself.

Notice I said, itself.  I’m talking about the species here.  Not you, not me.  Not our government, not even the world government.

Species.

Some of the tools our species uses were invented long before primates climbed down from the trees.  So things like using machines, sex, childhood, pair bonding and childhood are used by many other species.  Maybe they invented those on their own.  Maybe not.

However, some of the other tools we covered are pretty much unique to humans: Marriage, Relatives, Dynasties, and perhaps the biggest one of all, society.

Yes, we have a society.  If you talk to some biologists, they’ll argue some insects have a society as well.  But there’s a big difference, besides the fact that they are bugs.

We invent the society, we join the society, and we can leave the society.  The society isn’t baked into our DNA.  It’s in our heads.

 

Last post I asked if a family dynasty, like the Samsung Corporation, is good or bad?

There’s no way to tell without looking at the dynasty in context.  And the best context is within society.

If society is Korea, then the closer the purpose of Samsung is to the purpose of Korea will answer how “good” they are.

But if their purpose is at odds with the rest of their country, then we could argue that they are “bad.”

The primary purpose of any family, any dynasty, any government, and any society is to survive.  In fact, it’s the basic purpose of any living unit, like the species.  After all, if they don’t survive, they disappear.

We tend to forget this simple fact.  Heck, let’s call it the first axiom of life.

If something helps Korea survive, but impacts Samsung negatively, then Samsung will fight back.  They will resist.  They will undermine.  They will be “bad” for Korea.

In general, there will always be something that satisfies the above condition.  So, in general, a family dynasty is “bad” for society.

The same logic applies to the society and our species.  If a society wants to do something that is not good for the species, what happens?  You get pollution.  You get toxic waste.  You get human forced climate change.

That’s it for talking about tools.  We have them, we use them, usually without thinking about them.  Maybe we should start thinking, talking, and using them more effectively.

Then again, only if we want to survive.

Thanks for reading.

 

Invisible Tools: Dynasty

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Sex, childhood, marriage, family.  These are some invisible behavioral tools our species uses to thrive.  We should understand them as tools, and make them better.  The more we think of them as tools, the better we use them, making our own lives easier.

Every tool can vary in quality.  Take any one of the items mentioned up front.  I’m sure you can think of both good and bad examples.  Please don’t dwell on the first one.

The family is most important here, because humans have gone far beyond the original tool.  In fact, this set of families are so different that they may need their own category.  It’s easiest to think of them as a “super-family.”

Your average, run-of-the-mill family has parents and kids.  A bigger family has grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins.  An even bigger family may have some “greats” scattered here and there.  And some of the biggest families may have a celebration of relatives including hundreds of people.

Then there is the super-family.  The dynasty.  This is family taken to the highest level.  For not only can this family get large, it extends far back in time.  The dynasty becomes history unto itself.

The most famous dynasties are those that are connected to great wealth.  And that’s another feature of a successful dynasty, they are very good at passing wealth from one generation to another.  But that’s only the part we see.

The part we don’t see is that they also pass on secrets; teaching the next generation about keeping the dynasty together, growing its leadership, and increasing its wealth.

We don’t do a good job of tracking dynasties today.  Most are interested in conspicuous individuals.  Too bad, because it’s like only looking at the tip of an iceberg.

Most of the dynasty is hidden, just as interesting, and very powerful.  It will have branches embedded in government, commerce, and finance.  It will transcend nationalities, and can think on time scales most of us can’t conceive.

Japan and Korea have some famous dynasties you already know about.  China certainly has a few, and so does Europe.

Are family dynasties bad or good?  Not our job, not today.  The advantages are great power.  The disadvantage is the same.  The only question is this:

Does a dynasty want the same thing that is good for society in general?

Let’s tackle that next.

 

Invisible Tools: Relatives

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Does your family have a crazy uncle?

Perhaps you have a cousin?

Don’t assume everyone has a cousin.  As families shrink, as the human population contracts (and it will) the chances of having a cousin will shrink.

Having a cousin used to mean you shared a grandparent with that person, usually two grandparents.

In today’s society, with halves and steps and mixing of marriages, there’s a chance your cousin is in name only.  You may not share an ancestor within a thousand years of each other.

However, that’s not the point.  In a biological sense, we are all related.  That’s the whole point of being a species.  Humans are part of a single species we call humanity.  Everybody within a species is supposed to be able to marry anyone else within the species.  Please don’t try to marry someone outside your species!

Some scientists say that modern humans may have married Neanderthals back when they still rented rooms in Europe.  If that’s true, and they had kids, then they must also been part of our species.

No other animal has special names for relatives.  The most family other animals care about is Mom, Dad, and Kids.  And for most other animals, once the kids are adults, they aren’t part of the family anymore.

Humans seem to be unique in this way.  We keep track of aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, grandparents, second cousins twice removed, and possibly even more.  In some languages there’s a word for my mother’s father’s brother.

What’s the benefit of tracking these relationships?

Power.  Pure and simple.  If you can name someone that can help you get what you want, then you are better off.  If you didn’t know who your cousin was, then you couldn’t go to them in order to ask for help.

Of course, the downside of relatives is a bit the same.  If a relative is a pain in the butt, and tends to drag you down, then you’d be better off without them.  We “forget” them.

The good news is that, on average, having relatives has been a good thing.  And thanks to another tool called marriage, we can increase our number of relatives by adding “-in-law” to their name.  We do that because it tells us that the bond is through marriage, and may not be as strong as a more direct biological connection.

So the next time your relative calls you up and asks for a favor, think of it as an advantage, not a nuisance.  At least do this a few times.

After that, read them the riot act.  Let’s face it.  They’re not going to change.