Women think about relationships more than men.
From playing with dolls, pondering who is flirting with whom, personal hygiene, dress and makeup and adornments, in all areas women outperform men.
There are two main reasons.
First, we are all genetically programmed to want to be in a relationship (see yesterday’s post). This is hard to fight, and it could be argued that the need for companionship is greater in a woman than a typical man, but I’m not going to do that here.
Second, women are smarter than men, for the most part. As a result, they know that being in a relationship is better for them, and for the man (or other woman as the case may be, but for now we’ll stick with men).
Women, being smarter, recognize that they will bear the brunt of a long term relationship in terms of making children, managing a home, and foregoing earnings from not working. As a result, we consider them “unemployed” while they know they are performing the most important job on the planet – creating the next generation.
Typically, men don’t get this. Which means women have to work even harder to get men to realize the importance of being in a long term relationship. So they invest heavily in clothes, makeup, jewelry, and emotions.
The flip side is that a woman also needs to know that the man is invested. Which is why successful courtship SHOULD see the man making an equivalent investment on his part.
He should be the one traveling to see the woman, not the other way around.
He should be the one planning the dates and paying her way. Why? Because she has already paid in long term investment, such as dress and makeup. He is only paying cash for the immediate expense.
And once she is in that relationship, what is she willing to do? She is willing to bend more than he. My husband wants me to cut all my hair so I’m not attractive to other men? So be it. My husband wants me to cover my entire body with a black cloth and nothing but a slit for my eyes? So be it. My husband wants me to stay at home and make babies? So be it.
If a relationship fails, what are some women willing to do? They take the blame. They become outcasts, or worse, they make the ultimate sacrifice. Women still set themselves alight in some places.
The romantic in me would like to see men step up their game, and learn to appreciate both the work and investment women make to create relationships. I wish men would also be better taught to appreciate the value of relationships, after all it helps them live longer.
Finally, society needs to work on creating some of those old-fashioned rules we all used to abide, rules like treating people with respect, opening doors, and understanding the meaning of “no.”