Who is this guy?
We get a little towel at our gym. It’s too small to cover up anything important, and a bit too big to be a sweat rag. So I use it as a sweat rag.
Some guys take it into the steam room. It’s the room where you get to experience what it’s like to be a Chinese dumpling. It’s also the room where big guys stretch themselves out like it’s their bedroom. Some guys even do pushups in there. I sit.
The little towel comes in handy because you can use it to wipe your face in the steam room. Yes, by the time I wipe my face the towel is wet. So, after wiping, my face is still wet. It feels good.
When I leave the steam room I put my wet sweat towel in the little linen bin that’s nearby. This way the staff can throw everything into the laundry for the next dumpling. Except there’s something there on the floor – what is that?
It’s some guy’s towel! He got a dry towel, used it, and when he left the steam room he throws it on the floor. And every time I use the room, there it is!
So what does this say about this dude? Is he some old guy who can’t lift his arm three feet to put a wet towel in the right place? Or is he some kind of litterbug offender who gets his barely-legal jollies by throwing everything on the ground?
I’d just like to put a face to this, because all he does is make the world a slightly yuckier place for the rest of us.
Then again, maybe it’s some kind of magic towel that holds the world together. Moving it would disrupt the order of the universe and our world would come tumbling down around us!