Here’s my final post on this subject. And it has one point to make. Casual sex sucks. Here’s why.
If you are one of a very small minority where coitus creates mind-numbing fireworks every single time, then congratulations. You can have a great orgasm with any stranger. But you’re at a disadvantage to a sexually normal person. Unless you find a mate who is exactly like-minded and sexually-wired, you’re going to be out of balance. And one of you is going to be sexually frustrated. A bad recipe for a long-term romance.
The best recipe for long-lasting love is one in which both of you grow together. You love each other and sexually please each other many times as youths, but as you age you become more sensitive to each other’s needs. You gain a deep understanding of what turns them on, and when to best apply it. Over time, you may end up playing in bed more rarely, but when you do, it reaches heights that no casual contestant could dream of.
There is no real data to cite here, there are no good studies. But those of us who have been married for a long time know that it only keeps getting better. Yes, there may be periods where we are out of balance, but one or the other of us will adjust. For those that think the honeymoon is the best part, you have no idea what lies ahead. Ten years, twenty years, each year brings new learning and new joy.
There you have it. The lie has been outed. Your magazine can pretend to teach you tricks and turns, but the real trick is to stick with the one you love and keep learning. The act of coitus in year one is nothing like year two. After a few more years you realize that going back in time would be nothing but disappointment. Find your true love. And look forward to what you’re going to learn!