Last post talked about how human sex evolved to help keep men and women together long enough to raise a few, high quality kids. We romanticize sex today because we have deep feelings of its importance, but those feelings are no longer connected to marriage or family.
This post addresses the mystique revolving around the act of sex itself. As a visitor from another planet where sex hasn’t evolved, I would be intrigued by magazine covers that offer “mind blowing sex acts” and “10 new ways to entertain your lover in bed (sexually).”
Here’s the bad news for all you expectant readers out there, and perhaps an ultimate spoiler alert. Sex itself is not that great.
Yes, you heard it here first. The act of sex is work, in so many ways. There is a neurological ‘prize’ at the end, rewarding the body for all that work. It’s there to ensure our species continues, and that our families remain intact. The ‘orgasm’ is a mental state of high pleasure, and we are programmed to enjoy it.
Some people never achieve orgasm, that is their fate due to how their genetic dice have fallen. Other people are at the other extreme; an orgasm is easily obtained and incredibly delightful. For these people physical rapture and the associated appreciation of sexual activity is easily understood. However, for the vast majority of ordinary people, the orgasm is enjoyable, but is gone.
Age also plays a part. When you are young and reproductively fit, nature has timed it such that all your hormones are tuned to urge you to mate, and heightened so that your orgasms are monumental. When you’re older, when the kids are grown and menopause (or man-opause) is upon you, things like sex and orgasm are not as important.
Far more important is the quiet time together, the ability to hug and kiss, or simply listen to two hearts beating as one. This is the ultimate ‘orgasm’ – one comprised of love that lasts a lifetime.
But will it sell magazines?