Anyone here know a family? Did you come from one? So did I. Sometimes I wished I wasn’t, but overall it was a nice experience. As a child there were many times I thought about running away and joining a circus, or the army, or any other family but mine.
Maybe you have your own family now. How’s it going? Mostly fun? I sure hope so, because how much fun you have is up to you.
Here’s the rub, as far as studying behavior goes. Your family is unique. It’s an island almost all by itself. Sure, you may visit a house of worship with other families, or belong to other such social groups, but most of the time it’s only your family.
All the rules and regulations that apply to behavior of groups have to apply to your family, too. We don’t like to admit it, but a family is a very special kind of group. In fact, we could argue that it’s one of the better inventions that evolution has thrown our way.
We need to learn all of these things so we can make a better family in the future. The problem with evolution is that it’s just so darn slow! If we wait for evolution to make a better family, it could take a million years. Frankly, I don’t think we can afford the wait.
So, in order to learn better and faster, we should talk about things our families do. But this is the funny part. We don’t. Almost everyone thinks that what happens in the family should stay in the family. Shame things. Hurt things. Bad things.
This attitude does no one any good. It protects the bad people, it tells the victims that they have no support, and it doesn’t allow any of us “do-gooders” to try and intervene or help. My own extended family practices this form of self-inflicted pain, because my sister and her ex like to try and hurt each other by manipulating their children. I see them suffer, and I know that their future happiness will suffer as well. And I’m powerless to stop it.
Funny how that works.