One of the many good things that comes of writing like this is getting to see who is out there, reading our few words. To “big girl” I can only say you have inspired this particular observation.
Confidence. Who are we? More importantly, who are we with respect to the rest of the world? Who are our peers?
A few of us are very lucky in that confidence is something we are both born with (genetics) and something our families nurture within us (environment).
Some of us, however, may have the double negative double whammy. It may be because of our weight, our speech, our eyes, or something else. We weren’t born with it; and our families didn’t even try to nurture it. What’s important is that we face these fears head on. As students of behavior we have to create our own confidence. We have to trust our own hearts, our own minds, and love ourselves for what we are.
So many of us have parents who put us down. It may be that it’s being done unintentionally, in a loving fashion. It’s also likely that to an outside observer, these put-downs would be considered inconsequential. But for so many women, the slightest gesture from their mother crushes whatever happiness that held in that moment.
For you who are put down by your parents, love them for who they are, but don’t feel bad about avoiding them for what they do to you. For today, in this universe, you are the most important being. And you are connected to everyone else. Owe to them the same courtesy you expect from others.
As students of behavior, think about confidence as you would any other feature of your physical body. What does it really mean? Is it possible to understand confidence to the point where we can both have and not have it? How much of it relies upon our peers and popularity? Is it possible for someone who is truly alone to be confident?
Let me know your thoughts!