Here are some of my thoughts about love. Not a story, not a poem or metaphor, but about the very special thing we know as love. This is about people attaching themselves to another person. Sometimes the attachment lasts an hour, sometimes a lifetime. All of these attachments, no matter how long they last, are what we call love.
Such a big thing in our lives, and there’s much to say. This is a tiny slice about one aspect of love. What I offer is a set of tools to help you understand and enhance love in your life. Real tools. Nothing to buy, nothing to ‘believe’ and no special religions or brands.
There are too many facets of love to choose from, and way too much to say about each that the choice is hard. The one and only one that I will focus on here is love that lasts a long time. This can be the attachment of lovers, or more likely, the bond between mother and child. In many ways they are the same, and the tools I will provide you help explain how they work, why they work, and how you can make them work for you.
How will these tools help you with love? To start, they give you a way to understand love; a subject in which everyone is an expert, and yet one that nobody knows anything about, and most people continue to pursue. Second, these tools allow you to better understand yourself, so that the more you use them, the better person you become. Third, these tools allow you to better understand the ‘other,’ the person that is your partner. In its greatest sense, love means a lifelong adventure learning about another person. When it’s done right, you will have learned about your partner, and also learned about yourself.
Who am I to make such bold claims about what you will learn? This implies I already know these things. I am a humble person, probably like you, who has lived and desired love. I’m fortunate in that I have been deeply loved by parents, and even more fortunate that I have found a partner and a child with whom I’ve lived and loved more completely than anything I could have imagined.
How does this make me any more qualified to write such a thing? After all, there have also been millions of other lucky souls who have wonderful life partners. What gives me the guts to take on the ultimate subject? Not only have I been lucky, but I’ve been closely studying what makes people tick. I’ve been quite the geek, a sponge of information and a follower in the ways of logic and science. Last, I’ve been cheeky, because I don’t buy into the usual easy explanations or nonsense most gurus want us to believe. As a result, I’ve put together a set of tools that work for anyone, anywhere, at no cost to you. All you have to do is use them.
Who should read this, and who are these tools meant for? Truly, anyone who is in pursuit of love will find something of interest. Whether you wish to understand it in a new way, or whether you’re looking for yourself, or enhancing what you have. More specifically, these tools were designed for young adults. Those who have new hormones screaming for action, and are just exercising the morals that ask them to wait and choose wisely. Even more precisely, it’s for young adults living in an instantaneous world where machines do most of the work and almost all of the thinking. It’s for young adults who expect to be entertained. Finally, and tellingly, these young people must belong to a society that isn’t afraid to change. This is important, because even though we may find love and become a couple, we still have to contend with the forces of our culture, many of which are pulling us apart.